A guest blog post written by Success Coach, Angel Marie
Nobody’s going to care about what I have to say.
I’m not wise enough yet.
I care too much what other people think.
I’ll never make it.
Is it just me, or do these uninvited dragging statements enter inside of your mind too? Come to think of it, they come at the WORST possible times. Right when you finally feel like your self-esteem is high enough to take a leap of faith and push forward in pursuing something big…and then BOOM. They hit ya. Giving you a big ol’ slap across the face by letting you know that you basically suck. Gee, thanks brain.
The mind is truly a funny thing. It has a mouth of its own that nonstops talks, contemplates, judges, and throws negative comments into the forefront, leaving the positive ones to dry in the shadows.
It makes you wonder, how do people become confident? I mean, take a look at social media for one. How many people do you notice on your timeline that seemingly come off as highly confident? Maybe they truly are, but maybe not so much. The truth is, you honestly never know. You only know about the level of confidence YOU obtain.
Confidence derives from both the external and the internal parts of you. Those that are externally confident (confident extroverts) are the ones who are outgoing, show self-love traits, and aren’t afraid to do anything in front of anyone. At the same time, these same people may feel incredibly insecure about themselves on the inside – we’d just never know it.
And then there’s those that are internally confident (confident introverts). These people are more private, humble, kind, and aren’t affected by other people’s thoughts or opinions about them. They believe in themselves and in achieving what they want. But, they may not feel so confident to get up and dance, wear a certain outfit, or give a speech.
The point is, everyone is different. You may show external confidence, you may show internal confidence, maybe you show both, and maybe you show none. What matters is realizing those parts of you that need a serious confidence check so that you can bloom into your higher self. Here’s the thing. It’s far from easy – and it will take consistent mental effort to achieve an increase in self-esteem.
And it all starts with the mind.
What your mind tells you is what you end up believing 99% of the time. Why? Because we believe that our minds are who we are, but this thinking is a complete misconception.
Our minds are only a part of our physical body. You, my friend, derive from a far greater entity outside of your physical self that’s continuously at play. This entity revolves around the spirit that moves within you and around you. Therefore, you have to learn to break free of those mental barriers that trick you into believing that they ARE you.
I’m currently reading a book, titled the Power Of Now by Ekhart Tolle. He stated:
“You are unconsciously identified with the mind, so you don’t even know that you are its slave. It’s almost as if you were possessed without knowing it, and so you take the possessing entity to be yourself. The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity — the thinker. Knowing this enables you to observe the entity. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated.”
This quote, and the overall book in general, is currently helping me to separate myself from the trap of my mind. It was here that I truly learned how much power I have over the way I think, act, and feel about myself. The first step to taking hold of that power so you can begin boosting self-confidence is to watch the thinker, meaning to pay close attention to your thoughts from an outside perspective. Start observing your mind as an external part of you. It is not YOU. It is only a part of your physical body. Once you detach yourself from the mind and take the time to observe your thoughts rather than just accept them, you’ll realized that you’re no longer a slave to it. You are now aware and highly alert of the thousands of false and negative statements that enter into your brain.
When I started putting this to practice, I found myself laughing. The realization at how ridiculous these mental statements were when I started observing them was so hilarious to me. They were not ME, therefore I slowly was drifting away from the enslavement of my own mentality. I began having clearer, more positive thoughts about myself on a consistent basis and was learning to outgrow that constraining mental box.
As you do this, you’ll start to notice a shift. An enlightenment that shines brighter within you because you took the time to detach from the mind, and instead attach more to your spirit. To your higher entity. To YOU.
Begin to form positive statements and phrases, that are in fact true, within your mind. These phrases can be anything about yourself, as long as they’re nothing but love, optimism, and joy. Below, I’ve written out a pep talk to help you out a bit. You can do this as a daily practice as you learn to detach from your thoughts, boost your confidence, and therefore enhance your overall being.
State something that you love about your outer appearance and that people love it too.
State something that you love about your inner appearance and that people love it too.
State what you’re great at.
State why you’re a leader.
State how you can and how you will lead people.
State what you believe you’re capable of.
I love that I have a great smile, and people love that about me too.
I love that I’m incredibly kind to everyone I meet, and people love that about me too.
I am great at influencing others to develop themselves physically and mentally.
I’m a leader because I take strategic jumps towards what I want, while ignoring the opinions of others.
I can and I will lead people by building a successful well-known business, sharing my story, and teaching others to reach their full potential.
I believe that I am capable of changing the world by helping to change people’s mindsets, one person at a time.
Keep in mind, this practice won’t be easy. It’ll take consistency to truly feel the value it obtains, but as someone who has played a constant game of tug-of-war between the mind and the spirit, I’m here to share my story as proof that this mental practice has resulted in an amazing and ongoing internal transformation.